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Hey, lady, I've got a pretty good idea where you're coming from. I've been pretty close to the same place a couple of times myself. You're way past the end of nowhere and the light at the end of the tunnel isn't just dim, its been out for months. There's cobwebs growing on the wick so thick you can't find it. I understand full well. I also know what you have to do.

You need to find your phone and call some one to help you. Its's not hard. The number should be in the front of the phone book. If you don't want to talk to them and you know who I mean, the crisis hot line people are good people though, but if you just don't want to talk to them, how about some one from a church? It doesn't even have to be from your own church. Most any church will do. They all have groups that help people in trouble and honey, you're in trouble. I can tell cause I've been there, too. I was 22 and had been told I would never walk again. Not only that, I could never make love to my wife again. I had two little kids, and a 21 year old wife and here I was in a hospital with 23 pieces of steel located threw-out my body thanks to a Vietnamese Bobby-Trap that I had tripped and I was never going to do anything else any other young man was supposed to do with his life. I spent 3 sleepless nights with a loaded .45 automatic pistol stuck between my lips and tears running down my cheeks before I worked it out mentally.

I did manage to walk again. I did manage to do all the things I wanted to do again. We even had another child and you can look at him and there is no doubt he is mine. He looks just like me, poor kid. I even went back to the war and got wounded and decorated six more times. What the heck, I'm a retired SEAL. We're not too smart about some things. But we always get it right in the end.

What you're looking at here is a big problem, true. But big problems can always be whipped. It may take a while. It may seem impossible for a long time. But I got up and walked when three Neurosurgeons told me I would never get out of a bed or a wheel chair again by myself. I even went back to full duty. I retired after twenty years in the Navy. I also retired after another twenty years with the DOD. So when I say I know you can do this, I know what I am saying.

I also have Fibro. Just like you. And yeah, it hurts. Really bad sometimes. I'm one of the lucky ones. Mine doesn't hurt constantly. But then I don't let it. I refuse to. I could, but I won't. I will not let it win. But that's the way I fight it. You're not necessarily like me. You have to develop your own way of fighting this thing.

There are no rules, you know. You don't have to play by any FM rules. You can ignore it, treat it bad, laugh at it scream at it or do anything you want. We don't mind. It's allowed. The only thing that's not allowed is giving up. You never give up. You get help. There's a lot of help available. There are thousands of different things that I know you haven't yet tried that may help. Have you tried Acupuncture? Have you tried Laughter? Have you tried five M&Ms every half hour? (It might work!) Have you been to an Endocrinologist and had a Spinal Tap done? (serious here!) They found several things wrong with me from that that cut my pain levels in half.

You do need to talk with someone from a crisis hot line, to your pastor, clergyman, priest, whatever, shaman, I don't know your religion or if you have one, but you need to fiend a friend. You really do. Someone you can talk to any time that understands what you are going through and who will listen. Please do the one very important thing if you do nothing else.