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If your hot flashes are mild, you may be able to manage them with lifestyle adjustment alone.

• Keep cool. Slight increases in your body's core temperature can trigger hot flashes. Dress in layers so that you can remove outer clothing when you feel too warm. Open a window or use a fan or air conditioner to keep air flowing. Lower the room temperature, if you can. If you feel a hot flash coming on, sip a cold drink.
• Watch what you eat and drink. Hot and spicy foods, caffeinated beverages and alcohol can trigger hot flashes. Learn to recognize your own triggers and avoid foods or drinks that bring on hot flashes.
• Relax. Some women find relief from mild hot flashes through yoga, meditation, relaxation or other stress-reducing techniques. Even if these approaches don't quell your hot flashes, they may provide other benefits, such as easing the sleep disturbances that tend to occur with menopause.
• Breathe deeply. Deep, slow abdominal breathing (paced respiration) may decrease hot flashes. It takes some practice to perfect the technique, but paced respiration done for 15 minutes twice daily, or at the beginning of a hot flash, can be helpful. To practice paced respiration, begin by sitting comfortably. Breathe in deeply for five seconds, pushing your stomach muscles out. Exhale for five seconds, pulling your stomach muscles in and up. Repeat this cycle of breathing deeply in and out until you feel calm and relaxed.
• Don't smoke. Smoking is linked to increased hot flashes. By not smoking, you may reduce hot flashes, as well as your risk of many serious health conditions such as heart disease, stroke and cancer
• Cool hot flashes. Get regular exercise, dress in layers and try to pinpoint what triggers your hot flashes. For many women, triggers may include hot beverages, spicy foods, alcohol, hot weather and even a warm room.
• Decrease vaginal discomfort. Use over-the-counter water-based vaginal lubricants (Astroglide, K-Y) or moisturizers (Replens, Vagisil). Staying sexually active also helps.
• Optimize your sleep. Avoid caffeine and plan to exercise during the day, although not right before bedtime. Relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, guided imagery and progressive muscle relaxation, can be very helpful. You can find a number of books and tapes on different relaxation exercises. If hot flashes disturb your sleep, you may need to find a way to manage them before you can get adequate rest.
• Strengthen your pelvic floor. Pelvic floor muscle exercises, called Kegel exercises, can improve some forms of urinary incontinence.
• Eat well. Eat a balanced diet that includes a variety of fruits, vegetables and whole grains and that limits saturated fats, oils and sugars. Aim for 1,200 to 1,500 milligrams of calcium and 800 international units of vitamin D a day. Ask your doctor about supplements to help you meet these requirements, if necessary.
• Don't smoke. Smoking increases your risk of heart disease, stroke, osteoporosis, cancer and a range of other health problems. It may also increase hot flashes and bring on earlier menopause. It's never too late to benefit from stopping smoking.
• Exercise regularly. Get at least 30 minutes of moderate-intensity physical activity on most days to protect against cardiovascular disease, diabetes, osteoporosis and other conditions associated with aging. More vigorous exercise for longer periods may provide further benefit and is particularly important if you're trying to lose weight. Exercise can also help reduce stress.
• Try yoga. Preliminary studies show that yoga — an exercise regimen that involves controlled breathing, posing and meditation — may be effective in decreasing the number of hot flashes in perimenopausal women. Yoga classes are often offered at health clubs or through community education programs. Sign up for a class to learn how to perform yoga postures and breathing correctly.
• Schedule regular checkups. Talk with your doctor about how often you should have mammograms, Pap tests, lipid level (cholesterol and triglyceride) testing and other screening tests

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/menopause/DS00119

The vitamins and neurontin together may help. This is what my gf is trying.

When I went through this. I thought many times I would kill someone......lol